Like watching sausage getting made

     Before I start with the main subject of this post, I would just take a moment to talk about some people. I have spent a long time, too much time, talking about people I do not want to be around. I got to stop doing that because I am #blessed to be spending a lot of my time with people I want to be around. I have great roommates and friends that I hang with most times on the daily and I am doing well, thanks.

      • So you know the idiom about if you like sausages, don’t watch them get made? The idea being that if something is like watching sausage get made something unpleasant will be revealed. Well my friends, I have seen the sausage get made and worked in that factory and it is just as unpleasant and filled with animals guts as you think. I can be super candid and revealing but I will just leave it at that.
      • If we are not friends outside of Facebook, you do not message or comment on my page, why do we need to be friends on Facebook? Why does it matter if I am your friend or not? I do not have to like you, look at you, talk to you or be any sort of some type of way to you. Get over yourselves if you can’t handle being unfriended on Facebook. It’s unbecoming and unprofessional.
      • If you can’t talk to me in person, but have to go through someone else when talking about me, what makes you think I want to talk/deal with you in the first place?
      • I just have resting bitch face. And I hate everyone. *Shurgs*
      • Yes, there is a problem/rift in burlesque. Deal with it. It’s stupid here in Albuquerque. It’s stupid because cliques are stupid and that’s all this is ; a clique.
      • Yes, I have been very negative about burlesque. Those are my personal feelings. I am going to express them. If you still enjoy performing and the burlesque life, and your Glitter Tribe, good for you. Enjoy them and have a lot of fun.  As for me, I feel the exact opposite.
      • Part of me feels like I just drank the Kool-Aid in Jim Jones’ cult and now instead of reaching the Promised Land, I’m just a nameless, faceless cult victim who got caught up in the possibility of enlightenment.
      • I did not benefit from BHoF. I do not see it the way I used to, which was a step in the right direction or a boost up. No, BHoF is a good way to spend a lot of money and play the game of “lets dodge the sexual predator.”
      • I mean raise your hands if you’ve every been assulted at a show. It’s a real fucking treat. Just be sure to spit in their face and end with your tits out. 😉
      • But BLACKERY why are you still performing if you don’t like the scene? Well, where else can I perform? I’m a performer. I’m good at it. It’s what I do best. What else can I do? No matter the club, bar, stage, format, it will always be this. I’ve done recitals for dance, community theather. It’s all the same. 
      • But BLACKERY why don’t you do your own show or form your own burlesque troupe? Fuck no! The last thing this place needs is another burlesque troupe or performer collective because that’s gonna make it better. *eye roll* I don’t know what would help. Oh wait, yes I do! $18 million bucks and my own theater would help.
      • If there is no friendship in show business, then I do not see the reason why I have to be “friends” with everyone.
      • If you want to see me perform, you can pay me to be at your show. You have to pay me more than $20-35-$50. I am worth so much more than that. A lot of performers are worth more than that. If you want great entertainers at your show, you will pay them as such. If you want consistently great audiences, and filled seats, you will pay your performers what they are worth.
    • To those that are afraid of me and think I’m a mean bitch, BOO!
    • To those that don’t give a shit,  BYE!
    • To those that are upset, weep not little one. There is more to be miserable about in the world.

Comments, questions and hatemail  can be emailed to generalblackery@gmail.com

XOXOX

 

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Here I Go Here I Go Here I Go Again

Girl! What’s my weakness? MEN!!

A Brotherhood even.

A Brotherhood of Burlesque at that!!!

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, the sexy, the talented, the hardcore lovers off all things pleasure, The Brotherhood of Burlesque,  are coming to Albuquerque this motherfucking weekend to get this town pregnant.

1005433_393543257424422_430397918_nPhoto by Broken Glass Photography

Unf. You are going to get all of that up in your face and other wet bits not once but TWICE this weekend as they headline the Ecdysiast’s Exclusive at the Cell. eeswbi 

Yes Burlesque Noir is going to be there. Yes we will be getting pregnant. You’re welcome.

 

Get your tickets now. $13.00. Do it now because this show will sell out and you don’t want to be a loser pants that sat home and watched re-runs of Saturday Night Live or some shit.

#Rage

Soooo St. Louis and Austin Texas will be coming to Albuquerque and performing Saturday night.

No biggie. It’s just two of the TOP industry performers from St. Louis, Lola Van Ella and Sammich the Tramp are headlining the Southwest Burlesque Invitational.

Lola_van_Ella_and_Sammy_Tramp_Photo taken from the Southwest Burlesque  Invitational website.

Also headlining will be  the amazing, sexy, talented, mind-blowing The Jigglewatts ( Coco Lectric, Ruby Joule, Goldie Candela, & Jolie Goodnight) from Austin, Tx.

jwgroupanniecolor4Photo taken from the Southwest Burlesque Invitational website.

No biggie.

swbi

I will be performing my Catwoman piece I loving call  “Eartha Kitt Realness”.

P1120234Photo by Ian Flude from Burlesque Noir’s Till Death Do Us Part 7/26/13

Burlesque Noir will be performing our classy and sassy Sing Sing Sing number.

SSS COBF13Photo by Broken Glass Photography at the 4th Annual Colorado Burlesque Festival.

You get all of that and sooooooo much more for the low low price of $13.00 if you buy online RIGHT NOW! Tickets are zooming as we speak. So, go to it Man!

See you on the other side!

Upcoming Events

What it do mother fuckers?

It’s Wednesday night ( my Friday) so that means I am going to blow your FEED UP!

Hold to your panties as I take you on a magical journey that beings this Saturday and ends…NEVER BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Saturday July 6thImageTHIS.THIS IS IMPORTANT!

Burlesque Noir brings you another JAM packed Burlesque show full of lovely beauties from all over Albuquerque!! Come spend your evening with us!

The night’s festivities include Burlesque performances, Bands, and A HUGE raffle benefiting the Burlesque Noir Traveling Team of 2013!!

Burlesque Noir will be performing in the Main Event during the weekend of Colorado Burlesque Festival 2013! Help send ABQ Burlesque to national events!! Raffle tickets $5

THANK YOU FOR YOUR OUTSTANDING SUPPORT!
7:30 Doors and Burlesque Show starts promptly at 8PM; $10

Bands include Albuquerque’s own Funk Sensation…
‘MERICAN SLANG
Punk Rock tunes by
Fire to the Rescue

3 hours of Burlesque and 3 EMCEES:
Cherry Jubilee, Mike”Dirty” Del Rio, and Paris A Gogo

LIVE BURLESQUE BY:
Burlesque Noir Travelling Team
Holly Rebelle
Malificent Allure
Joy Coy
Miss Behavin’
Mercy Just Mercy
Lacy Le Rouge
Dirty Deeds Burlesque
Perla Foxx
Katana Jade
General Blackery
Machina Tigre
Scar Letta
Mischa Mischief
Mary Jane Monroe
Annie O’roar
Shelley Sequinz
Oliver Dreems
Rex Starchild
Tylee
More performers TBA

RAFFLE TICKETS ON SALE NOW! Contact the ladies of Burlesque Noir to purchase some or call 505 615-4248.

PRIZES INCLUDE:
$50 Hair Addiction Certificate
$50 Free Radicals Gift Certificate
Burly Tickets
1Hour Shiatsu Massage
Kuchi Jewerlry
1 Hour Photo-shoot with Steven Ziff
$25 Avon Gift Basket
The Library Bar and Grill GC
Burly Classes
and MUCH MORE!

Get on that shit. See you this weekend Loves.

XOXOXOXOX

VEGAS BABY!

Quick post.

Image

I survived the Show Me Burlesque and Vaudeville Festival in St, Louis. Them fuckers can throw down and know how to put on a show.

Right now I am furiously packing to jet off to Las Vegas for my first ever Burlesque Hall of Fame. I’m super stocked and I’m going with the best friends/guides/muses a showgirl could ask for,  Kitty Irreverent and Holly Rebelle.

The best way to get a glimpse is to follow my twitters, Facebook and Instagram posts.

Oh look here they are!

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/generalblackery

Facebook: http://wwww.facebook.com/generalblackery

Instagram: http://wwww.instagram.com/generalblackery

Lots of shady shit from Show Me was posted on instagram and facebook, so you know, get on that.

Here’s some hashtags too: #bhof13 #burlesquehall  #dirtyrottenshowgirls #shadyshit #whatwouldnomimalonedo #bestworstbehavior

I’m sure there will be others.

Stayed tuned for upcoming events in June. More classes.More shows. More cars. More hoes.

Upcoming Events

Holy shit snacks. I haven’t posted since last year. Ooops. I guess I really have been busy and I’m only getting busier. Here’s what is coming up in my world.

Friday April 5th 2013

Burlesque Noir is teaching classes with the NM Burlesque Academy and we are hosting Ladies Night Out parties. Our first party is this Friday.

Spend an evening letting loose with friends and getting to know your inner burlesque dancer! The evening includes:
2 hour class taught by Holly Rebelle on using a feather boa
snacks and refreshments
goody bag with pasties,Topstick and other treats!
Please wear comfortable form fitting clothes, like what you might wear to a yoga class, and bring a pair of high heeled shoes. Women 21 and over are welcome and no previous dance training is needed — just a desire to have fun!
Price: $50 (this price includes your own feather boa that you will be able to take home!)
Sign up at www.burlesquenoir.com

– click the link for Ladies Night Out!

If you have ever wanted to take a quick shimmy at burlesque now is your chance. Feel free to pass this info around to any interested ladies you know!

 

Saturday April 6th 2013

HOOLIGANS PRESENTS – CIRCUS OF SIN BURLESQUE SHOW FEATURING DIRTY DEEDS BURLESQUE TROUPE AND BANDS SHIT HAPPENS INC | CAUSTIC LYE | SOUL HAVEN.

circus of sinI’ll be hosting. Burlesque Noir’s own Mary Jane Monroe will be making a guest appearance. I also have tickets that I am selling. Come get them from me. 

 

Saturday April 27th 2013

PRIDE & Equality Magazine Presents the Fierce Singles Party

Celebrating the first annual Fierce Singles Issue (March-April 2013), PRIDE & Equality magazine invites you to meet the community’s most eligible singles at what is sure to be the fiercest event of the year.
PRIDE & Equality magazine presents The Fierce Singles Party on Saturday, April 27, 2013 at 7pm at Hotel Andaluz Downtown – 125 2nd Street Northwest. The Casablanca Room will be headquarters to the hottest singles in the GLBT community, along with the hottest music to dance the night away. The Singles Auction will be held to benefit N’MPower. Appetizers will be served and a cash bar will be available.
The night will be hosted by comedian, writer and Celebrity Ambassador of Great Face and Body, Lucas Corvatta.
Tickets are $25 – 21 and older. Sponsored by PRIDE & Equality magazine and Hotel Andaluz.
This year’s Fierce Singles are:
Alfredo Urbina
Curtis Billie
Jesus Zapata
Marcos Sedillo
Jason Shanley
Leon P. Zambrano
Candace Faye Lucero
Angela Hernandez
Minimum bid starting at $10 and the highest winning bid gets FIRST CHOICE on which dinner and after-dinner activity you and your date will do! Tickets are on sale now at http://holdmyticket.com/event/132299

.I’ll be taking it off and entertaining this hot party. Come check it out!

 

Friday May 3rd 2013

Zircus Erotique Burlesque Company
Presents "Cinco De Mayhem"
Burlesque Show
May 3, 2013
Zircus Erotique Burlesque Company presents
"Cinco De Mayhem"
will take place Friday, May 3rd at The Lodge in Santa Fe. This event is a burlesque show to kick off Cinco de Mayo weekend.
Special Guest:
Armitage Shanks, the Carny Preacher!
Zircus Erotique Burlesque Company, Santa Fe, NM- Doutelle, Mena Domina, Nyree Nyx, Tawdry Rugburn, Lola Brown
featuring guests:
Gilded Cage Burlesk, Albuquerque, NM – Vivian MirAnn, LezMerize
Burlesque Noir, Albuquerque, NM – Holly Rebelle, General Blackery
IntoxiKate – Albuquerque, NM
Godiva Blue – Albuquerque,NM
RiRi SynCyr – Albuquerque, NM
And More!
"This is the return of our 2nd annual "Cinco De Mayhem " burlesque show. It kicks of Cinco de Mayo weekend with a night full of crazy, raunchy and ridiculous burlesque and performance! You can expect to see some unexpected and less than traditional burlesque. This is not your night of classic fan dance and gracefully moving sparkled dancers ………This is CINCO DE MAYHEM!!! "
Ticket and Show Information
Friday, May 3, 2013:
Burlesque Show;
The Lodge Santa Fe 750 North St. Francis Dr. Santa Fe, NM
Doors open at 8 P.M., show starts at 9 P.M.
Tickets are $15 General Seating and $20 V.I.P.
This is an 18 and up event
Advance Tickets are available atHYPERLINK "http://www.zeburlesque.com/

"http://www.zeburlesque.com/

cinco de mayhem2

 

Later in May I’ll be jetting off to St. Louis with Burlesque Noir for the Show-Me Burlesque Festival.

Following that I’ll be in Colorado for the 4th Annual Colorado Burlesque Festival.

Save the date for July 26th. Burlesque Noir has a show in the works to make the summer even hotter.

Somewhere in there I’ll be teaching my Bump Grind and Werk It class with NM Burlesque Academy.  Oooh you know you wanna get that coochie sweat!

 

 

Fuuuccccccckkkk I’m busy!

And here we are again.

2012 is pretty much dead. Add another hash mark on the wall.  Welcome, welcome, welcome to the dawning of the new era. 2013 is literally creeping around the corner and I still don’t have anything to wear to the imaginary NYE ball I’m attending with my handsome prince. Fuuuuuucccccckkkkk.

Well in reality I’ve got shows lined up before and after the new year. It’s like I’m busy and talented and people love live entertainment or something.

 

First off I will be suiting up Terminator style at Zircus Erotiques Tit’s the End of the World… Literally the Only Show in Town

December 28th at the Lodge in Santa Fe!

Zircus Erotique Burlesque Company Presents
"Tit’s the End of the World… Literally the Only Show in Town" A post-apocalyptic burlesque tale full of tease, tassels, and tumultuous turmoil! Come see what’s left on after the world ends!
Scheduled to appear:
MC Xavier Winter
Zircus Erotique Burlesque Company, Santa Fe, NM- Doutelle, Mena Domina, Nyree Nyx, Koo Koo La Rue, Madam Lennox and Tawdry Rugburn
Gilded Cage Burlesk, Albuquerque, NM
Burlesque Noir, Albuquerque, NM
Godiva Blue – Albuquerque,NM
Intoxi Kate – Albuquerque,NM
Kevin Atkinson
And More!
Friday, December 28, 2012:
The Lodge Santa Fe 750 North St. Francis Dr. Santa Fe, NM
Doors open at 8 P.M., show starts at 9 P.M.
Tickets are $15 General Seating and $20 V.I.P.
This is an 18 and up event
Advance Tickets are available athttp://www.zeburleque.com/

end of the world

 

If I wake up after January 1st, Burlesque Noir is having a super amazing fundraiser show at the Cell Theater. It is an 18+ show so that means I can bang someone who is 12 years younger than me. I’m ready. Bring it.

Burlesque Noir’s Traveling Tassels Fundraiser SHOW!

7:30 – 10:30 January 5th 2013

Albuquerque’s own award winning Burlesque troupe, Burlesque Noir, will be hosting a Traveling Tassels Fundraiser Show on Saturday, January 5th, 2013!! We hope you will join us in celebration of our 2012 accomplishments and 2013 goals to attend national burlesque festivals and competitions in Colorado and Abroad.
Age 18+. $10 at the door. Free Raffle Ticket w. Entry!!!
The Cell Theatre. 700 1st st. N.W Alb, NM. 87102.
Proceeds will benefit Burlesque Noirs’ Traveling Team traveling expenses for 2013!
Burlesque Performances by:
Burlesque Noir Traveling Team
Holly Rebelle
Joy Coy
Mary Jane Monroe
General Blackery
Machina Tigre
Special Guests:
Godiva Bleu
Intoxi Kate
Mallificent Allure
Cherry Jubilee
More performers TBA
MC Xavier Wyntir
Show followed by Raffle Drawing, DJ Brian Botkiller, and dancing!! Come dance with us!!!
Raffle Prizes Include:
Pasties and Fascinator by Cookie Fortune
Handmade Jewelry by local artists
Crafty Cupcakes (that’s right Cupcakes!)
Burlesque Classes w/Burlesque Beauties of Burlesque Noir
Diva Von Teese Burlesque Book
Roller Derby Tickets!
$200 in Salon Services from Pin It Up Hair Studio
Thanks to our fans for your help earlier this year at our Bikini Bash Bonanza!! We utilized funds raised and attended Austin’s Texas Burlesque Festival and brought home to ABQ a trophy, and title, "Best Ensemble."

Your  contribution helps us spread our love around the country. Litterally. I’ve probably got 5 illegitimate babies by now.

 

Next up, January 8th I’ll be celebrating the birth of everyone’s favorite hostess with the moistest ANNGORA!

Vagrant Variety/Happy bday @anngora

MUSIC * POETRY * BURLESQUE * BELLY * COMEDY * SIDESHOW
Happy birthday to the fabulously bullet-proof most original gorgeous MC of AnarKomedy, co-host of Dream Date Comedy, the lovely @anngora!

Music
Dead On Point Five

Burlesque
General Blackery
Joy Koy
Daisy De Vill

Poetry
Hakim Bellamy
Nate Maxon
Belly Dance
Ketura
Asha

Stand-Up Comedy
Jason Green
James Morrow
Drew Wayne
AJ Martinez
Joe Quesada
Genevive Garcia De Mueller
Cyrus Moses
Eddie Stephens

 

 

After that, February 14th I’ll be performing at the Launchpad in the opening night of the Southwest Burlesque Showcase.

We have Michelle L’Amour and Jo Boobs headlining. Yeah it should be a good show.

http://www.kimotickets.com/event/126881 Tickets are on sale now. Go get yours. More info when the date gets closer.

 

So my beer is getting cold. Have a safe and happy holiday loves. I’ll see you on the other side.

 

XOXOX

GB