Like watching sausage getting made

     Before I start with the main subject of this post, I would just take a moment to talk about some people. I have spent a long time, too much time, talking about people I do not want to be around. I got to stop doing that because I am #blessed to be spending a lot of my time with people I want to be around. I have great roommates and friends that I hang with most times on the daily and I am doing well, thanks.

      • So you know the idiom about if you like sausages, don’t watch them get made? The idea being that if something is like watching sausage get made something unpleasant will be revealed. Well my friends, I have seen the sausage get made and worked in that factory and it is just as unpleasant and filled with animals guts as you think. I can be super candid and revealing but I will just leave it at that.
      • If we are not friends outside of Facebook, you do not message or comment on my page, why do we need to be friends on Facebook? Why does it matter if I am your friend or not? I do not have to like you, look at you, talk to you or be any sort of some type of way to you. Get over yourselves if you can’t handle being unfriended on Facebook. It’s unbecoming and unprofessional.
      • If you can’t talk to me in person, but have to go through someone else when talking about me, what makes you think I want to talk/deal with you in the first place?
      • I just have resting bitch face. And I hate everyone. *Shurgs*
      • Yes, there is a problem/rift in burlesque. Deal with it. It’s stupid here in Albuquerque. It’s stupid because cliques are stupid and that’s all this is ; a clique.
      • Yes, I have been very negative about burlesque. Those are my personal feelings. I am going to express them. If you still enjoy performing and the burlesque life, and your Glitter Tribe, good for you. Enjoy them and have a lot of fun.  As for me, I feel the exact opposite.
      • Part of me feels like I just drank the Kool-Aid in Jim Jones’ cult and now instead of reaching the Promised Land, I’m just a nameless, faceless cult victim who got caught up in the possibility of enlightenment.
      • I did not benefit from BHoF. I do not see it the way I used to, which was a step in the right direction or a boost up. No, BHoF is a good way to spend a lot of money and play the game of “lets dodge the sexual predator.”
      • I mean raise your hands if you’ve every been assulted at a show. It’s a real fucking treat. Just be sure to spit in their face and end with your tits out. 😉
      • But BLACKERY why are you still performing if you don’t like the scene? Well, where else can I perform? I’m a performer. I’m good at it. It’s what I do best. What else can I do? No matter the club, bar, stage, format, it will always be this. I’ve done recitals for dance, community theather. It’s all the same. 
      • But BLACKERY why don’t you do your own show or form your own burlesque troupe? Fuck no! The last thing this place needs is another burlesque troupe or performer collective because that’s gonna make it better. *eye roll* I don’t know what would help. Oh wait, yes I do! $18 million bucks and my own theater would help.
      • If there is no friendship in show business, then I do not see the reason why I have to be “friends” with everyone.
      • If you want to see me perform, you can pay me to be at your show. You have to pay me more than $20-35-$50. I am worth so much more than that. A lot of performers are worth more than that. If you want great entertainers at your show, you will pay them as such. If you want consistently great audiences, and filled seats, you will pay your performers what they are worth.
    • To those that are afraid of me and think I’m a mean bitch, BOO!
    • To those that don’t give a shit,  BYE!
    • To those that are upset, weep not little one. There is more to be miserable about in the world.

Comments, questions and hatemail  can be emailed to generalblackery@gmail.com

XOXOX

 

#Rage

Soooo St. Louis and Austin Texas will be coming to Albuquerque and performing Saturday night.

No biggie. It’s just two of the TOP industry performers from St. Louis, Lola Van Ella and Sammich the Tramp are headlining the Southwest Burlesque Invitational.

Lola_van_Ella_and_Sammy_Tramp_Photo taken from the Southwest Burlesque  Invitational website.

Also headlining will be  the amazing, sexy, talented, mind-blowing The Jigglewatts ( Coco Lectric, Ruby Joule, Goldie Candela, & Jolie Goodnight) from Austin, Tx.

jwgroupanniecolor4Photo taken from the Southwest Burlesque Invitational website.

No biggie.

swbi

I will be performing my Catwoman piece I loving call  “Eartha Kitt Realness”.

P1120234Photo by Ian Flude from Burlesque Noir’s Till Death Do Us Part 7/26/13

Burlesque Noir will be performing our classy and sassy Sing Sing Sing number.

SSS COBF13Photo by Broken Glass Photography at the 4th Annual Colorado Burlesque Festival.

You get all of that and sooooooo much more for the low low price of $13.00 if you buy online RIGHT NOW! Tickets are zooming as we speak. So, go to it Man!

See you on the other side!

‘Merica! Fuck Yeah!

Come kick off Veteran’s Day with Burlesque Noir as we present A Star Spangled Spectacular!

Kick off Veteran’s Day weekend with stars and striptease!

Starring:
Burlesque Noir
Rick O’Shea
Intoxikate
Doutelle
Nyree Nix

MC’d by
Cherry Jubilee and Xavier Wyntir

Featuring DJ Brian Botkiller

$10 at the Door, $5 with Military ID
21+

Oh hey! We are also going to have a fund-raiser to help fuel our dirty/sexy showgirl habits! The raffle will run until December 24th!

There are some kick ass prizes and you can have your chance to win tomorrow night!! We will be raffling a pair of Sons of Perdition Burlesque: A night of happy endings. tickets!

 

And you can win this here necklace that I made all by myself. Turquoise, fresh water pearl and faceted glass crystal make up this one of a kind necklace with a gorgeous kuchi pendant. $60.00 value. I will also be selling one of a kind kuchi jewelry and pendants!

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Sorry for the radio silence.

Hey hey hey! So I’m all moved and everything. Enjoy a post I wrote a couple weeks ago.  Lots of things happened since I wrote this initial post.  Expect an updated one shortly.

 

 

Your wonderful General Blackery has become a free bitch baby. Of course that means my personal life is in a bit of a flux with partners moving out, no internet at home,  and the eventual move of all my glitter.  So expect even more debauchery from this dirty rotten showgirl. Wait, it already happened. In Santa Fe.

Let me just briefly touch on what happened up there at Tallulah’s St. James’s Birthday Suit Bonanza. There was a show. It was a great fucking show.I got to see the legendary Satan’s Angel put on one hell of a show.  But afterwards the party got started. I was making out with as much people as I could. Guests at the hotel were complaining, asking for refunds, cops were being called, pool jumpers, naked hot tub time, threesomes and 2:30 am booty calls. And then we all met for brunch in the morning to try to remember what the hell happened. Oh The Lodge at Santa Fe will never be the same.  Best quote from brunch which Sofia Soberette put on my facebook wall “ How do you have a threesome with yourself?”

So you guys, when I say you need to come out to a burlesque show, you should really go. And stick around for the afterparty. I can’t guarantee they will all be like that. I think the mix of New Mexico and Colorado combining creates a party tornado. So, please come to one of the many burlesque shows that happen in the Albuquerque/Santa Fe area. You will not be disappointed.

Mark your calendars for the weekend in August 19-21st for A Burly-Q.  And stay tuned for Burlesque Noir’s Burlesque in the Wild West Show November 12th. Annnnnd the dates for the 6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Fest have been announced. Mark those calendars Feburary 10-12th. BAM!

Oh JEZUS!

Where do I begin? I guess with Colorado. I still haven’t recovered from it. I mean, I was there from Thursday to Monday and it just blew my mind.

I have absolutely no pictures of all the shenanigans that went on because I left my battery charger in a hotel on the east coast and I was having too much fun. And I am too damn tired to write out a whole post.

SOOOOOOOO, here’s what is coming up in the week!

Tallulah’s Birthday Suit Bonanza!!

266230_10150699909835478_180593590477_19219711_1916847_o

AHAHAH! I’ll be performing in Santa Fe for the first time this Saturday. I am so excited. I hope to give Tallulah a lap dance.  You got to come to this show. Seriously, check the line up:

Join Zircus Erotique and Special Guests in celebrating the birthday of Tallulah St. James!!
Featuring:
The Queen of the Fire Tassels, Satan’s Angel
Lola Spitfire
Bunny Bee
September Smith
Zircus Erotique:
Doutelle
Lady Lux
Lily La Dee
Madam Lennox
Mena Domina
Gilded Cage Burlesk:
IntoxiKate
Vivian MirAnn
Burque Burlesque:
Kiity Irreverent
Ri Ri Syncyr
Burlesque Noir:
General Blackery
Holly Rebelle
AND!!!
Boylesque from Colorado!!!
Mustang Monroe
Mr Valdez
Also, recent graduates from the ZE Burlesque Class
Isabella Bashir
Anouska
Songbird: Sofia Soubrette
Emcee: Naughty Pierre
www.zeburlesque.com

And don’t think the rock has stopped. OH NO! The one, the only Reigning Queen of Burlesque 2011 Miss Indigo Blue will be teaching in the Q on Tuesday July 26th. Your mind is blown I know. Check this out!

miss indigo blu

Reigning Queen of Burlesque, Miss Indigo Blue will be in Albuquerque for one night only sharing her wealth of information by teaching classes both open to public and private sessions available.
For more class descriptions and sign up please go to www.burlesquenoir.com/indi​goblue
6-7:30 Available for private sessions, please contact hollyrebelle@burlesquenoir​.com to reserve your slot!
7:30-8:30 The Art Of The Tease: Burlesque and Empowered Flirtation $20 ***open to the public***
8:30 – 9:30 Tassel Twirling for the Twenty-First Century $20 ***open to the public***
9:30 – 11:30 Private Sessions available please contact hollyrebelle@burlesquenoir​.com to reserve your slot.

Go ahead and get schooled!

I’ve already signed up for both of her classes and my titties are shaking with joy!

You wanna know what’s fun?

Reading the Albuquerque Craigslist personals for men seeking men and looking at the the dick pics that are posted with the ad. Damn! Who knew that there were so many bored and horny dudes in this town? I have enriched my life 10 fold by learning about blow and go’s , all the different angles in which to take pictures of your dick and how there is one dude who has a room at the Hyatt Tamya. HaaayyyyAAAA! Fuck my vagina, I’m going over anyway!

You wanna know what else is fun? Burlesque Noir Presents: Red Hot Burlesque Summer.  BAM! I think this is our first work safe flier.

burlesque noir 8w

You can and should buy your tickets in advance here. They are only $10 in advance. And where else can you see the amazing Kellita Maloof from San Francisco’s Hot Pink  Feathers but right here in the 505. DO NOT MISS THIS SHOW!

Super extra bonus! Kellita will be teaching workshops on WORLD CABARET/SAMBA DANCE TECHNIQUE and Crafting the Solo Friday night at Rythmic Arts Center (4821 Central Ave. NE). HERE is all the information and sign up form for the workshops.

We got new routines and costumes and gussied up some of our classics and made them bigger and better than ever so get your ass down to the Launchpad June 18th. Yes, you can wear a bikini. Yes, you can buy me a drink. Yes, you can send me dick pics.

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