About The General

//Special Girl/Day Dreamer/Hoop Spinner/Tassel Spinner/Belly Roller/Assistant to the Stars/Pirate//

Woke.

Yo. What is happening, everybody? Um, how are You doing? No really, how are you? This year was a doozy. I thought 2015 was the worst of it. But damn, the world just went to shit.

My personal life is not shit thank goodness, but locally, globally, there are some issues going on. I mean, how could I not crop up and talk about 2016. So many great status quo breaking musicians, celebrities/media and political figures bit the dust. I won’t do a list. There’s already many lists. If you don’t know, then Google is your friend.

Anyway, NO I am not back on Facebook. I tried logging in to my Instagram because I couldn’t remember the password because I literally have 1 billion passwords to remember. So I tried logging in through Facebook and I guess when you do that it reactivates it and people know I exist. Crap.

I realized after having one for so long and oversharing, I no longer miss it. I blurted out as I was closing the blinds that I don’t like people knowing what I’m doing and Facebook was this giant open window. Which is great if you are an outspoken performer who likes to entertain and use social media as a way to piss people off because everyone gets so butthurt easily. But since not being on there I really do feel like I have a better connection with people. Interesting.

So yeah, I no longer do burlesque anymore. I am 100% done with that shit. That is not to say that my love for performing in general has gone away. I realized as I was taking my dance class, that I will always have an opportunity to perform in some way or another.  I just won’t be pissing glitter or teabagging the public. Which is very sad.  But the scene does not weep for me nor do they miss me. So god bless and goodbye!

I’m really sad/mad/hurt/over it. But you move on. I got a great guy. I got my own bathroom to take a shit in. I’m kicking ass at school. Like, 3 A’s and a B in astronomy and that shit was hard because I did it online. SO suck it. I know how stars form.

2015 and 2016 was some shit. Onward and upward.

 

**********FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**********

Hello,
Are you a white burlesque producer? Do you need some “color” in your show? I have an act for you!
I, General Blackery, will perform a classical burlesque fan dance (fancy dress, blinged shoes, embellished bra, panty, rhinestoned pasties) while singing a Negro spiritual. Let your audience know you are an “ally” and you support ‪#‎blacklivesmatter‬ with your very own Negro at your show. You’ll be the talk of the town and the envy of all your liberal, progressive, vegan, humanitarian friends. Act now because this offer is available for only a limited time because I may get shot/raped/blackballed for existing. Only $200! Call me now for your free psychic reading and to book me now!!!!! booking: generalblackery@gmail.com

Like watching sausage getting made

     Before I start with the main subject of this post, I would just take a moment to talk about some people. I have spent a long time, too much time, talking about people I do not want to be around. I got to stop doing that because I am #blessed to be spending a lot of my time with people I want to be around. I have great roommates and friends that I hang with most times on the daily and I am doing well, thanks.

      • So you know the idiom about if you like sausages, don’t watch them get made? The idea being that if something is like watching sausage get made something unpleasant will be revealed. Well my friends, I have seen the sausage get made and worked in that factory and it is just as unpleasant and filled with animals guts as you think. I can be super candid and revealing but I will just leave it at that.
      • If we are not friends outside of Facebook, you do not message or comment on my page, why do we need to be friends on Facebook? Why does it matter if I am your friend or not? I do not have to like you, look at you, talk to you or be any sort of some type of way to you. Get over yourselves if you can’t handle being unfriended on Facebook. It’s unbecoming and unprofessional.
      • If you can’t talk to me in person, but have to go through someone else when talking about me, what makes you think I want to talk/deal with you in the first place?
      • I just have resting bitch face. And I hate everyone. *Shurgs*
      • Yes, there is a problem/rift in burlesque. Deal with it. It’s stupid here in Albuquerque. It’s stupid because cliques are stupid and that’s all this is ; a clique.
      • Yes, I have been very negative about burlesque. Those are my personal feelings. I am going to express them. If you still enjoy performing and the burlesque life, and your Glitter Tribe, good for you. Enjoy them and have a lot of fun.  As for me, I feel the exact opposite.
      • Part of me feels like I just drank the Kool-Aid in Jim Jones’ cult and now instead of reaching the Promised Land, I’m just a nameless, faceless cult victim who got caught up in the possibility of enlightenment.
      • I did not benefit from BHoF. I do not see it the way I used to, which was a step in the right direction or a boost up. No, BHoF is a good way to spend a lot of money and play the game of “lets dodge the sexual predator.”
      • I mean raise your hands if you’ve every been assulted at a show. It’s a real fucking treat. Just be sure to spit in their face and end with your tits out. 😉
      • But BLACKERY why are you still performing if you don’t like the scene? Well, where else can I perform? I’m a performer. I’m good at it. It’s what I do best. What else can I do? No matter the club, bar, stage, format, it will always be this. I’ve done recitals for dance, community theather. It’s all the same. 
      • But BLACKERY why don’t you do your own show or form your own burlesque troupe? Fuck no! The last thing this place needs is another burlesque troupe or performer collective because that’s gonna make it better. *eye roll* I don’t know what would help. Oh wait, yes I do! $18 million bucks and my own theater would help.
      • If there is no friendship in show business, then I do not see the reason why I have to be “friends” with everyone.
      • If you want to see me perform, you can pay me to be at your show. You have to pay me more than $20-35-$50. I am worth so much more than that. A lot of performers are worth more than that. If you want great entertainers at your show, you will pay them as such. If you want consistently great audiences, and filled seats, you will pay your performers what they are worth.
    • To those that are afraid of me and think I’m a mean bitch, BOO!
    • To those that don’t give a shit,  BYE!
    • To those that are upset, weep not little one. There is more to be miserable about in the world.

Comments, questions and hatemail  can be emailed to generalblackery@gmail.com

XOXOX

 

I should be doing homework

But who gives a shit.

This is a stream of conscious journal entry filled with EMOTIONS.

I sighed and tried to get it out and now I have type it out.

I’m tired. I’m tired of over-thinking, under-thinking, getting up, trying, peeing, working, eating, sleeping, paying bills, worrying about my health, my lack of relationships, my few friendships, my shitty attitude, my car, bills, ABORTION!, ISIS! NORTH KOREA! THE WHALES! ORGANIC FOODS!

I try to give a shit. i really do. but it’s exhausting. I just want to be spooned. But I have a shitty attitude. 😦

I’m too cute to be single. Like for real. This is ridiculous.glasscase

I’m not a fucking harpy. Or maybe I am. At least tell me I’m a fucking harpy. I’ll at least get a fucking clue.

Whine whine. complain. complain.

I’m just tired. I’m tired of my shitty attitude. I’m tired of the world’s shitty attitude. I’m tired of being jerked around and teased and reduced to a body part.

When did adulthood become Ground Hog Day? I feel like a hamster in a wheel just walking along, sometimes distracted, but I’m just still walking and not getting anywhere.

What is that? What is this place?

Top 20 Fatties and Trolls of Burlesque in Albuquerque

I’m an expert. Ok. This list isn’t biased at all.

Here we go in no particular order..

20. Adam Brown

adam brown

He’s not a burlesque dancer. He just wanted to be on the list.

 

19. Tony Travis

tony travis

Burlesque Noir’s choreographer. Sometimes he performs. Dude is such a troll he is straight up trying to drag a girl off the stage to take her to his cave to carve her to bits and wear her face like a mask.

 

18. Paige Star Savage

paige star savage

You don’t see Paige a lot. She is usually hiding under a bridge or cleaning up stuff. But she is there. Lurking.  Fun Fact: Paige only has eight fingers and toes and I have seen her eat a horse.

 

17. Riri SynCyr

riri

She’s the Mayor of Chubbytown for chrissakes. She bakes incredible snacks out of the blood of innocent children.

 

16. Kitty Irreverent

kitty

She’s done stuff in town. Something about the Southwest Burlesque Showcase and I think she scared Dita Von Teese once while at Burlesque Hall of Fame. Who cares. Titties.

 

15. Moe Pex

moe

I think he goes to the gym. I can’t really tell. He is the newest boylesker in Burlesque Noir and he will be making his stage debut this weekend. He’ll probably do a stupid push up or something.

14. Mickey Nuggets

mickey nuggets

Hoot hoot. Cluck cluck. The fresh, young and tender and full of trans-fats. Mickey Nuggets is another one of Burlesque Noir’s trolls. He is actually 1,000 years old.

 

13. Rex Starchild

rex broken glass photography

Oooooooh girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl. Rex Starchild  of Burlesque Noir is everyone’s favorite dead boy. His performances are nothing but him rotting onstage and stinking up the place with his decaying stench.

 

12. Shelley Sequinz

shelley

Ladies and gents this is Shelley Sequinz of Burlesque Noir.  The rapper of the troupe in her birthday suit. She sings songs to lure men into her lair where she keeps them there as a pet.

 

11. Machina Tigre

machina

A member of Burlesque Noir’s elite fattie/troll travel team. I wrote you a poem Machina.

Fattie fattie fat

Please don’t eat my cat.

 

10.Lottie LaRouge

lottie

Newest member of Burlesque Noir. Something something tits something something. Lottie is probably really intelligent and looks like she would be amazing to have mind blowing conversations with. But who cares, tits.

 

9. Annie O’Roar

annie 

Annie O’Roar of Burlesque Noir has a nasty habit of stealing babies and seducing wives. She plays with snakes,magic, fringe and whiskey. Something something legs and tits.

 

8.Mischa Misschief

mischa

Mischa is apart of the fattie/troll Burlesque Noir travel team. A practicing Satanist , she frequently bathes in the blood of the innocents while consuming mass quantities of Jameson whiskey. That’s how she gets that healthy glow.

 

7. Joy Coy

joy

“Joy Coy is a member of Burlesque Noir. She often gives hauntingly beautiful performances of the classic theater style. “ Travel team member, Joy Coy is not allowed in the sunlight or else she will turn to stone.

 

6. Mary Jane Monroe

mary

“Mary Jane Monroe is another of Burlesque Noir’s standouts. On stage she is like a classic 1950s pin-up come to life. She pours her heart and soul into every second she is on stage and has a smile as wide as The Sandia’s. “ Another travel team member of Burlesque Noir. She carries rocks in her pockets so she can throw them at people.

 

5. Don Schrader

don schrader

I mean, come on.

 

4. Doutelle

doutelle

She’s not from Albuquerque but who gives a shit. She’s from Santa Fe with Zircus Erotique. She has an act where she is a troll ,which there are no pictures of. On that note, bitch has no bad pictures. You need to work on that.

3. Holly Rebelle

holly

Troll. Or a drag queen. Or an award winning soloist ,leader of an award winning troupe and co-producer of the Southwest Burlesque Festival. Hmm. Nope. Holly Rebelle is a troll.

2. General Blackery

cake troll mam'zelle hepzibah

Feed me your children.

1. This Bitch

fattietroll it’s a gif

A novel could be wrote about this bitch’s performances, but to keep it short here are the thee most important things you need to know:

Jesus. Christians. Glitter.

 

Be sure to catch most of these fatties and trolls at the Launchpad this SATURDAY NIGHT! Burlesque Noir Presents:DIVAS

divas

Starring Cora Vette from Denver, CO
Saturday, December 14th
Doors 8 pm
$10
Performances by:
The VaVaVettes (Denver, CO)
Holly Rebelle
Joy Coy
Mary Jane Monroe
Mickey Nuggets
General Blackery
Lottie LaRouge
Shelley Sequinz
Rex Starchild
Machina Tigre
Moe Pex
Mischa Misschief

Photos without watermarks are by Evil M West. Annie O’Roars photo by Trout Imagery. General Blackery photo by Mam’zelle Hepzibah.